Blog Posts

Hello friends. Welcome to the blog this week.  Today I wanted to talk about Mindfulness. 

One thing I have noticed in my own life since losing a dear loved one last week is that sometimes it is easy to disconnect and feel like you are going through the motions of life.  I tend to hear a lot of clients talk about feeling stuck on autopilot.  As humans we often disconnect during times of high stress and operate on a level of survival mode.  While in the moment this can help us get through a stressor, a death, a change, or a traumatic event; if we don’t make the choice and effort to return to the present moment and improve our mindfulness we can get stuck in autopilot and feel we are operating in fight, flight, or freeze.  This can take a toll on our body as well as feeling depressed, anxious, hopeless, and questioning our worth.                                              

The simplest definition of mindfulness is living in the present moment.  This means being more aware and being fully engaged in what is happening in your surroundings- with acceptance and without judgment.  Let me provide an example of what mindfulness is not.  A person who may be feeling present at home taking care of their household, kids, and cleaning may be thinking to themselves that what they are doing is never enough, they continue to clean instead of taking breaks to enjoy a playful moment with their child or partner.  Judging the current moment by saying you aren’t “doing enough” and taking away from moments to connect with your surroundings and people around you, takes away from mindfulness.  

Now that I have talked about what mindfulness is not and ways not being present can impact…let’s talk about some ways to improve mindfulness.  

Working on mindfulness, being grounded, and being more present in your day-to-day activities can greatly improve the feeling of disconnection in general.  Let’s start with the power of breath.  Breathing is the most important mindfulness exercise I can recommend to begin with.  Once you can be actively aware of and control your breath the other mindfulness practices become a lot easier.  I encourage clients to work on belly breathing several times a day.  When we do EMDR in session we focus on breathing after every sequence.  Deep breathing sends a message to our brain to relax which then helps our body to not respond with a stress response.  

If you find it difficult to practice deep breathing. I encourage starting by following a guided breath meditation to begin.  Once you can focus on your breath, one practice I have found extremely helpful in my own life is to practice gratitude.  For me that looks like keeping a gratitude journal and sharing positives about my day or something I am grateful about with someone in my world each day.  Another mindfulness exercise I find helpful is to focus on my five senses when I am feeling disconnected.  This includes being more aware of my surroundings and focusing on something I can hear, taste, smell, feel, and see.  Sometimes when we feel disconnected or on autopilot we may also have a greater need, for example to actively connect with someone in our life.  It can be difficult when on autopilot or feeling disconnected to want to reach out or be social.  In my experience usually when we are feeling disconnected we have a greater need to connect with some sort of activity or person in your life.  There are three parts of mindfulness that I think are important to discuss before I end today.  The first is intention, that we actively choose to cultivate more awareness of ourselves and our needs.  Second, that we give attention to the present moment, our body sensations, and our thoughts.  And third. that we focus on an attitude and a thought process that is curious, non-judgemental, and kind to your mind.   

Thanks for reading, until next time.     

Emilie Barragan, LCSW    

“Tackling physical and emotional pain” – Therapeuo Health