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Hey friends, welcome to the blog this week. Last week I talked about how getting past your past and toward healing.  Today I want to talk more about the benefits of letting go.  There is an idea about the art of letting go and there are books about it.  The art of letting go is about freeing ourselves from the attachment to an idea that’s causing some kind of suffering (frustration, resistance, feeling bad). We’re freeing ourselves, by letting go of the idea we’re holding onto.  Sometimes the ideas we have inside of our head can get in the way; especially when we can’t let go.

The art of letting go can be challenging.  More specifically, the art of letting go directly involves fear.  Fear is an inevitable part of the human experience. It’s a very basic primal instinct that has been hardwired into our brains since ancient times, designed to keep us safe from harm. However, in the modern world, fear often takes on a different form. It can become a paralyzing force that holds us back from pursuing our dreams, embracing new opportunities, and living life to the fullest. Before we can conquer our fears, we must first understand them. Fear often stems from uncertainty and the unknown. We fear what we can’t control or predict, and we worry about the potential consequences of our actions. This fear can manifest in various ways, from a fear of failure to a fear of rejection, success, or even change itself.  Fear can be an incredibly heavy burden to carry. This burden can become very physical and cause physical pain such as headaches or gut problems or muscle aches and pains.  It can limit our potential, hinder our personal growth, and prevent us from taking the necessary risks that lead to success, fulfillment and happiness.  The action of hanging onto something (the opposite of letting go) we know is like an anchor that keeps us stuck in our comfort zones, preventing us from exploring new horizons and things in life we know we want or desire.

Here are some ideas that can be useful in the process of letting go:

Challenge Negative Thoughts:  It can be very easy to get wrapped up in our own heads and spiral out of control at times.  Avoid spiraling as much as possible and ask for help getting out of it. Fear often feeds on negative self-talk. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself if they are based on facts or assumptions. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations and realistic perspectives.  “I can do this” “I deserve to let go and be happier” “I know what I must do and I can do it” are some suggestions to keep repeating to yourself.

Be honest about your feelings:  Sometimes it is challenging to be honest about our feelings.  For example, let’s say I know I need to let go of something (or someone) and I avoid the feeling of “knowing it is the right thing to do.”  I can avoid this feeling by pretending everything is “okay” and nothing is wrong.  But, this creates a cycle of pain and suffering.  Being honest about our emotions can help us stay focused and moving forward.  An example, might be “I know what I need to do and I’m going to be honest about being uncomfortable or scared and talk about these thoughts and emotions I am having.”

Embrace Uncertainty:  Life is inherently uncertain, and no one can predict the future.  But, we can embrace the unknown as an opportunity for growth and adventure rather than a source of fear.  Our mind plays tricks on us and fear creates the worst case scenarios.  Remember, the thoughts created with fear are not true!  You can create your experience that you desire and want!  You are more powerful than you realize and believe.

Seek Support:  Talk to friends, a best friend, family, or a therapist about your fears.  Express your desire to “let go” and get this feedback.  Get their support and have them provide validation.  Sharing your concerns with others can provide valuable insights and emotional support.  They can give you hope and support.  Just remember that when seeking support, they may not have all the information, don’t exactly know what you are experiencing, and may see things differently than you do.  Just realize that is their opinion and you are just seeking support from them while you “let go” of whatever it is you’re desiring to leave behind. 

Take Action – Just begin doing something, even if you’re not completely ready.  Action breeds confidence.  Take the leap of faith (so to speak) and just do it.  Avoid letting your brain talk you out of it.  Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Acknowledging your progress will motivate you to keep moving forward.  Sometimes we can start with small, manageable steps outside of your comfort zone. Each small victory will build your confidence.  Sometimes, the greatest first step is making the decision to let go.  Once this decision is made, take note of how this makes you feel.  The decision can often bring peace and comfort, even if the process of letting go is uncomfortable.  Making a decision, and sticking with it, will breed action.

Benefits of Letting Go: Letting go of something in our life can have huge benefits.  We often fail to see the benefits and rarely realize how much joy we can experience if we let go.  Letting go and moving forward is a courageous choice that can lead to a life filled with fulfillment and achievement.  When we know that we need to move forward in life and let go of something, we can struggle.  But it can really help to focus on the outcome and benefits of letting go.  Sometimes we can take the time to realize “What will happen if I do not let go?  How will my life be?  What happens if I do let go and move forward?  What can I expect to happen differently?  We must ponder these questions deeply and feel it.  Remember that fear is a natural part of being human, but it doesn’t have to control your destiny. 

Friends, with self-awareness, determination, and a willingness to embrace the unknown, you can conquer your fears and embark on a journey towards a brighter and more fulfilling future. So, take that first step today, and watch as your life transforms in ways you never thought possible.  As stated earlier, freedom of the fear and being stuck is exhilarating.  It breeds confidence, self-esteem and self-worth.  In the end, happiness awaits you and growth is powerful. 

Thanks for reading, until next time.    Emilie Barragan, LCSW   Therapeuo Health – “Tackling Physical and Emotional Pain.”