Blog Posts
When Life is Hard
Hey friends, welcome back to the blog. This week I am going to get a little personal and talk about how to manage life when it gets hard.
We all go through challenges, heartbreaks, loss, or major life changes. For me currently it is trying to manage through a major health challenge my child is facing and managing myself as her parent.
So today I want to talk about how even me as a therapist has had to dig in at times and rely on my tools and tips to get me through hard times. So far this is what I have come up with, I hope it may help even one other person who may be going through a challenge in their life.
1. Manage your perspective or challenge perspective if needed. It is easy to get overwhelmed, become negative, and feel like the hard time will never end. It’s ok if that happens. It’s ok to question reality. However continuing to reframe your perspective can help manage emotions that come up, cope easier, and feel better through the process.
2. Feel your feelings. One of the best things we can do when we are experiencing a tough time is to acknowledge emotional experiences as they come up and allow yourself to feel them. Holding in emotions or trying to not feel them usually results in having more difficultly coping with the situation in the long run. Feeling and expressing emotions is essential for healing.
3. Connect with your support system. Part of feeling emotions may include expressing them and processing them with a member of your support system. People often manage best when they feel connected and supported. It can help to lighten the burden when you don’t feel like you are in something alone.
4. Let go of the need for control. Sometimes when things are hard we want to find ways to feel in control. Although this can seem like the best approach, it can also drain mental energy. It’s important to use energy in tough times where it is most necessary and allow yourself to be “off the hook” for the areas that are too emotionally draining. For me I have had to allow other people to help with things like house cleaning and meals. It has ultimately relieved a lot of burden I may otherwise carry.
5. Establish healthy outlets. This can include a daily mindfulness practice. Going outside, for a walk, sitting in the sunshine, or planting your feet in the ground (called grounding). Healthy outlets can include exercise or a workout schedule. Daily journal practices or writing down gratitudes each day can be helpful. Daily relaxation techniques like breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery that can include focusing on positive outcomes in the future can help support healthy outlets.
6. Take it one day at a time. One thing I have learned is that it is ok to have temporary feelings of sadness or unfairness come up about the past or even how the future may look right now now. It helps me to break things down and continue to find ways to come back to the present moment. Sometimes this may have to be broken down to one moment at a time, one hour, or one day. If I allow myself to spend too much time in future thinking I feel overwhelmed or anxious. If I spend too much time in anger or unfairness of life I end up being unable to be present.
7. Remember truths. Remember that you have gotten through every tough time before. Remember your strengths. For me it is that I am a strong person, I know how to manage life’s challenges, my future can be happy and fulfilling, I have people that love and care about me.
Someone shared this quote with me and I would like to leave it with you all ending this post today. “Someday you’ll tell the story of how you survived, & it will become the way that someone else knows they will overcome too!”
Thanks for reading, until next time.
Emilie Barragan, LCSW
Therapeuo Health – “Tackling physical and emotional pain”