Blog Posts
Communication
Hello friends, welcome back to the blog.
Today I wanted to talk about common communication issues and ways to work on communication.
Communication comes up in every aspect of life. Whether it be personal relationships, social, professional, communication helps us to connect and share. Communication issues I see include avoiding conflict, refusing to have difficult conversations, not being willing to listen, responding defensively, not being able to communicate thoughts and feelings, misunderstandings, issues with body language, tone, volume, and feeling unsafe. Ineffective communication can result in an array of consequences. These can include disagreements, hurt feelings, it can negatively impact relationships, create distance, build resentment, decrease motivation and productivity, create mixed signals, and reduce confidence and trust. Do any of these sound familiar in any of your relationships? Are you yourself someone who doesn’t communicate effectively?
Communication is so vital to connection and success personally and professionally. Let’s explore ways to take small steps to improve communication.
1. Practice listening. Do you ever notice yourself coming up with responses while someone is still talking? Or wanting to interrupt to add an opinion or advice? A small step toward improving communication is just listening instead of listening to respond. Sometimes people just want to vent or be heard.
2. Listen to understand. To add to the point above a way to listen to understand is to ask clarifying questions. This may include asking if the person is looking for a response or looking to be heard and validated. It may also include active listening like asking questions and confirming you understand what is being communicated.
3. TVC: tone, volume, cadence. I teach this often with couples. When looking to improve communication it is important to consider how you say things, what you say, and how loudly you say it. If you have received feedback like it is hard to communicate with you because you use a tone or get defensive it can beneficial to practice some mindfulness of TVC.
4. Body language. Nonverbal communication can play a huge role in communication. If for example you are someone who is on their phone when someone is trying to talk to you it may be a good step to take to remove some distractions from communication. Our body language can also indicate our feelings and our interest in conversations. We can appear closed off or open and active listening. It can be an important step to improving commutation by considering what our nonverbal communication is saying. 5. Consider timing and your emotions. Being able to manage emotions while communicating can help make communication more effective. It is best to have conversations when you are feeling calm and to consider timing on conversations if emotions are running high. I often encourage clients to take breaks from conversations if they can’t regulate their emotions, if they start getting defensive or criticizing, or they can’t communicate clearly. Sometimes it helps to pause conversations to gather your thoughts or write them down to help better communicate what you think or feel.
Communication is so important to help us have a healthy life, workplace, and relationships. It can also be complicated and require a lot of time, effort, and patience. It can either leave us feeling disconnected, discourage, and distanced.
Or, it can help us feel empowered, connected, and more secure. These are just a few tips to consider when looking to improve communication.
Thanks for reading, until next time.
Emilie Barragan, LCSW
Therapeuo Health – “Tackling physical and emotional pain”