Blog Posts

Hey friends, welcome back to the blog.  Today I want to talk about the topic of “doing the work.”  “Doing the work to heal” means actively facing and processing past traumas, negative patterns, and hidden emotions through self-reflection, awareness, and intentional action, often with support, to break free from self-sabotage and create a more authentic, empowered life, rather than passively waiting for time to fix things.

Have you ever noticed that our culture likes us to be problem solvers and fixers?  When we see something wrong on the outside, we often rush to find a solution for it.  You may find yourself making external changes when there is something wrong on the outside and it appears that there is something to be fixed.  This could include job changes, diets, relationship changes, moving, new clothes, etc.  The problem with this kind of mentality is we often find that this can become a cycle that is hard to get out of.  There is of course a time and place for external changes.  However, more often than not, we miss the opportunity that arrives in these moments of struggle when we can dig deeper and heal from the inside. Some call this “doing the work.”       

As a way to survive from long ago, we project our problems externally instead of seeing the deeper healing that needs to take place. As you enter your own healing journey, you start to notice that these recurring problems are actually dwelling with the untended parts inside of you.  

“Doing the work” is facing parts of us that we have been avoiding (for good reason) because they are too hard or painful to bear. These are the deep parts of ourselves that stay hidden until we find the courage to seek support and heal.  And healing doesn’t mean “fixing” or getting rid of those feelings. Instead, it’s holding and allowing others to create space and support us while we process them.  Healing is embracing and understanding our nervous system, making sense of our protective behaviors, and being brave enough to look within.  As we increase our inner space we increase what is called our window of tolerance.  I will share on this topic next time.       

Doing the work to heal means facing inner patterns, traumas, and emotions with self-awareness, compassion, and consistent effort, rather than avoiding them, to create lasting inner change and build a more authentic self, often involving therapy, mindfulness, self-compassion, and understanding your nervous system. It’s a messy, non-linear journey of looking inward, processing past experiences (especially childhood trauma), and developing new, healthier ways of being, supported by practices like boundary setting, self-care, and connecting with your body.    

Practical Steps to Start

1. Acknowledge & Accept: Validate your feelings and experiences without judgment.
2. Build a Support System: Seek professional help (therapist) or trusted friends for guidance.
3. Practice Mindfulness: Use meditation or quiet time to observe your thoughts and inner state.
4. Prioritize Self-Care: Nourish your body with healthy food, exercise, and rest.
5. Set Boundaries: Protect your energy and space, recognizing they are for you.
6. Forgive Yourself: Let go of self-blame for past perceived failures or trauma responses.
7. Connect with Your Body: Pay attention to physical sensations as they often hold emotional information. 

“Doing the work” means engaging in intentional, often difficult, self-improvement, healing, and personal growth by confronting inner issues like past traumas, negative patterns, and core beliefs, rather than just intellectualizing them, applying insights from therapy or self-help into daily life to change behavior and build self-awareness. It involves embracing discomfort, taking responsibility, and making consistent effort to understand oneself better and evolve, whether through therapy, reading, or challenging oneself. 

Thanks for reading, until next time.

Emilie Barragan, LCSW

“Tackling physical and emotional pain.” – Therapeuo Health