Blog Posts

Boundaries are the limits we set for ourselves in relationships.  They are the invisible lines that define what behaviors are acceptable for ourselves, others, and our world.    

There are a lot of benefits of setting and keeping boundaries.  When our boundaries are too porous we can experience anything from low self esteem, codependency, people pleasing, feeling inability to practice self care, lack of respect, increased stress and burnout.  When our boundaries are too rigid we can experience isolation, disconnect, disassociation, burnout, lack of vulnerability, and inflexibility.                    

If these terms are unfamiliar, let‘s first look at porous boundaries.  People who have porous boundaries are more likely to overshare personal information, have difficult saying ”no”, are dependent on the opinion of others, and often times fear rejection.  Fear of rejection often leads to people pleasing.                                                   

People who are considered to have rigid boundaries are more likely to avoid intimacy and close relationships, unlikely to ask for help, may seem detached, and withhold personal details even in close relationships.  When working on boundaries the goal is to develop more healthy boundaries.  People with healthy boundaries value their own opinions and don’t compromise their values for others, share personal information in an appropriate way with trusted people,  knows personal wants and needs and able to communicate them.  

If boundaries are something that are difficult for you the best place to start is first with improving communication with others, yourself, and identifying your own values.  Boundaries  can feel overwhelming but the benefits as illustrated above help them to payoff.  Let us know if there is anything else you would like us to talk more about.  Until next time.  

Emilie Barragan, LCSW