Blog Posts

Hi everyone, and welcome back to today’s blog.  Recently, I have been approached by a lot of people on social media asking a very good question – “How do I find a good therapist?”  I do have some recommendations that come from both personal experience (when I was looking for one) and what I’ve seen throughout my career.  There is no question that in today’s world, mental health is becoming increasingly necessary to balance life and all the stress that comes with it.

When I ask others’ opinion on what makes a good therapist (or how to find one), this is a list of things they talk about:

1.  Someone who listens and understands me.

2.  Someone who has various treatment options for me to choose from.

3.  Someone who can see me regularly (not every few months).

4.  Someone who takes my insurance or is reasonably priced if cash pay.

5.  Someone who has the personality I can fit with.  Someone who I “click” with.

I agree with all of these things statements.  But let me offer a bit of advice on not only these things, but other things you really may want to consider.

Someone who listens

I can list more therapists who suck at listening than I can name a good one who knows how to listen.  Listening isn’t just being heard, it is remembering what is talked about and engaging in the conversation.  I would avoid a therapist who (mainly) just sits and stares at you, mainly only asking “how do you feel about that.”  I would run away from them quickly.  

Understanding the Treatment Options

Once the decision to seek therapy is made, it’s important to understand the various types of therapy and therapeutic approaches available. From  EMDR, Neurofeedback, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to psychodynamic therapy, each approach offers a unique perspective and set of techniques for addressing mental health concerns.  Researching these options and considering which may resonate best with your needs and preferences is a crucial preliminary step.

Seeking Recommendations

The vast majority of my clients come from referrals from clients and family members that I have treated in the past.  They were thrilled with the results and had no issues with providing a referral.  You may want to ask around from friends or family for a good referral.  If not, do some research on the Internet. Take a good look at their website, which will typically indicate their treatment philosophy, how they think, and treatment options or specializations.  Navigating the vast landscape of therapists can be overwhelming, which is why seeking recommendations can be invaluable. 

Establishing Compatibility/Personality Fit

Finding the right therapist is not just about their qualifications or expertise; it’s also about establishing a strong therapeutic alliance. This involves feeling comfortable, understood, and respected by the therapist. During initial consultations or sessions, pay attention to how you feel in their presence and whether you feel heard and validated. Trust your instincts; if something doesn’t feel right, don’t hesitate to explore other options.

Prioritizing Connection

Building a strong therapeutic relationship takes time and effort from both parties. It’s essential to prioritize open communication and honesty throughout the therapeutic process. Be transparent about your goals, concerns, and expectations, and don’t be afraid to provide feedback along the way. A good therapist will value your input and work collaboratively with you to achieve positive outcomes.

Embracing the Journey

Finding the right therapist is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor; it’s a journey of self-discovery and growth. Be patient with yourself and the process, recognizing that setbacks and challenges are a natural part of the therapeutic journey. Celebrate small victories and milestones along the way, and remember that healing is a gradual and nonlinear process.

Don’t Give Up

If you find a therapist that doesn’t seem to fit your personality, provide the treatment you need, or just had a bad experience…please do not give up!  Find another one!  There are other therapists that could be the best fit for you!  Navigating mental health and finding the right therapist can be a challenging and deeply personal journey. It requires courage, self-reflection, and a willingness to prioritize your well-being. By acknowledging the need for therapy, understanding the available options, seeking recommendations, prioritizing compatibility, and embracing the therapeutic journey, you can take proactive steps towards achieving greater mental health and overall wellness. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and with the right support, healing and growth are possible.

Until next next,

Aaron Nicolaides, PhD., LCSW

Therapeuo Health – “Tackling physical and emotional pain”