Blog Posts

Hello everyone and welcome back.  Today I want to briefly discuss a common question that I receive from others, “How do I deal with a narcissist?”  

Dealing with a narcissist can be an emotionally draining and challenging experience. Whether it’s a colleague, friend, family member, or romantic partner, their constant need for validation and control can leave you feeling manipulated and exhausted.  However, there are strategies you can employ to protect yourself and maintain your sanity in these situations.  Most believe that men are the only ones who can be a narcissist.  This isn’t true, but it is more common for a male to be a narcissist.  

Recognize the Signs: The first step in dealing with a narcissist is to recognize the signs.  They often exhibit traits such as grandiosity, a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration.  By understanding these characteristics, you can better prepare yourself for interactions with them.  When I am dealing with a narcissist, my “radar” goes off by them taking about zero accountability, have a constant need for control and are extremely manipulative.

Relationships:  A Narcissist will seek to be in a relationship where they can completely control or manipulate the other person.  They will, eventually, seek to take away their partners identity, sense of worth, and begin to control their every move.  They will soon have control over their decision making, their opinions and how they view things.  This can be extremely harmful, especially in the environment where children are involved.  

Set Boundaries:  Establishing clear boundaries is crucial when dealing with a narcissist. They may try to manipulate or exploit you for their own gain, so it’s essential to communicate your limits firmly and assertively. Be prepared for pushback, but stand your ground and prioritize your well-being.

Avoid Emotional Engagement:  Narcissists thrive on drama and attention, so it’s important to avoid getting drawn into their emotional games. Their goal is to make you lose control, then blame you for everything.  It is imperative that you stay calm and composed during interactions, and try not to react impulsively to their provocations.  Remember, their behavior is a reflection of their own insecurities, not your worth.  To be honest, the thing that will drive THEM crazy is by you not becoming emotionally engaged and just staying “matter of fact.”

Practice Self-Care:  Dealing with a narcissist can take a toll on your mental and emotional health.  Remember, a narcissist will lead you to believe you are the one going crazy.  Make self-care a priority by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, or practicing mindfulness, find what works for you and prioritize your well-being.

Seek Support:  Don’t hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family, or a therapist who can offer guidance and validation. Talking to others who understand your situation can provide much-needed perspective and help you feel less isolated in dealing with the narcissist.  Speak to a therapist who can help you navigate the dealings of a narcissist and give you the support you may need to set strong boundaries with them.

Focus on Empowerment: Instead of dwelling on the narcissist’s behavior, focus on empowering yourself. Build your self-esteem and confidence by setting and achieving personal goals. Remember that you deserve respect and happiness, and don’t let the narcissist undermine your sense of self-worth.

Consider Detachment:  In some cases, the best way to deal with a narcissist is to limit or cut off contact altogether. If the relationship is toxic and causing more harm than good, prioritize your own well-being and distance yourself from the narcissist. It’s okay to prioritize your own mental and emotional health.

Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, but by recognizing their behavior, setting boundaries, practicing self-care, seeking support, and focusing on empowerment, you can navigate these relationships with greater resilience and peace of mind. Remember, you are not responsible for the narcissist’s behavior, and you deserve to prioritize your own well-being above all else.

Until next time, just avoid dealing with a Narcissist if possible! 

Aaron Nicolaides, PhD, LCSW

Therapeuo Health – “Tackling physical and emotional pain”