Blog Posts

Hey friends, welcome back.  Today I wanted to talk about something that I deal with daily currently and that is parenting.  Whether a first time parent, a toddler parent, a parent with older kids, a step parent, a parent with more than one child, or any other version that comes up; parenting is one of the great challenges and rewards in life.  Being a parent and the stressors that come with it is a topic that comes up a lot with my clients.  Here are some ideas that we discuss.                                              

1. Take care of yourself.  As cliche as it may sound, they always say put your oxygen mask on first if you want to help others.  When it comes to parenting it can be challenging at times to not self sacrifice and to stop meeting your own basic needs to make sure your kids needs are met.  If this sounds familiar I recommend starting small with basic needs.  This can include improving diet, moving your body more, finding more ways to rest and sleep when possible, and getting outside.        

2. Get a support system.  This can include a partner, friends, family, hired help, etc.  Having a partner to share the load with can make parenting easier.  Being able to talk to someone about and share stressors, handling situations that come up, and having help at times can make a big difference.               

3. Give your kids love and consistency.  Most people just want to be loved, praised, validated, hugged and our children are no different.  Starting every morning and every night with love helps set the tone for the day and the night.  Consistency helps kids know what to expect.  This can include setting boundaries when needed, having family rules or values that are verbalized, and following through with things like positive reinforcers and negative consequences to breaking rules.   

4. Identify your triggers and then learn how to handle them.  This comes up a lot in therapy.  Sometimes we don’t even know we have triggers until we have kids and they start to do things that set us on edge, remind us of past situations, cause us to feel upset, or learn to push our buttons.  It is important to learn to identify these triggers and emotions to get to the root cause.  It is also important to learn how to manage them to help with parenting.  This may include breathing, remaining calm, taking kids outside to help you ground, taking a break as needed, and talking about emotions that come up.                                                        

5. Improve communication and model good behavior.  It is so important to model communication with kids and also being able to communicate with other people.  If communication is difficult for you I recommend working on improving your own communication to help your kids.  Communication can include praising your child for things they do well, asking them about their day, their interests, who their friends are, what goes well in their day and would could be improved, expectations at home, offering choices they can control, and working through problem solving so they can learn how to work through problems and create solutions.                                          

6. Spend time with your kids.  One of the greatest things we can give our kids is our time.  Now this does not mean we have to spend every waking moment entertaining them.  It can mean play, it can mean helping with homework, it can be connecting before bedtime, it can mean showing up to support them, and it can also mean just being present when they need you.                          

There are so many things that can be said about parenting.  This is just a few of the ideas that have came up with my clients.           Until next time, thanks for reading.                                       

Emilie Barragan, LCSW   

Therapeuo Health  – “Tackling physical and emotional pain”