Blog Posts

Hey friends, welcome back to the Blog.  Today I want to focus on ways to stay committed to goals and progress.  We have all probably experienced the rollercoaster that can come from setting a goal, making steps toward that goal, having setbacks, sometimes throwing in the towel completely at times, only to return back to the same or similar goal.  

One of the things I do with clients is focus on a goal they want to accomplish in therapy and then help them find ways to make progress toward that goal.  Some of the things I have heard from clients is they can’t see any progress, they get sucked back into old patterns, and their negative beliefs about themselves and others get in their way.  They also report getting stuck in their own head (spiraling), they get derailed by setbacks, the progress is too slow, and staying the same is easier or more comfortable.  This is very common, although not desirable.          

Things to consider that can make it hard to stay focused on progress include your environment, your discipline/willpower, and your mindset.                                      

Your environment:  Your environment includes who you spend your time with, your home (who is in it), and what influences you have such as what you read, watch, and listen to.  Do you have people in your life that are supportive of your goals and growth? Will anyone help keep you accountable to your own goals?  Do the people you spend the most time with also have their own goals and stayed focused? There are good questions to ask yourself when it comes to if your environment is supportive to your goals and progress and who in your life will support them. It can also be helpful to focus on reading self help or motivational books, listening to podcasts, and limiting tv as a form of a reward or included in exercise.  Another thing to consider is social media.  It is common to fall into the trap of scrolling and that can take away from staying focused on progress. Is your social media positive and inspiring you; or is it causing you to compare yourself to others and fearing that you are missing out on something.                                 

Discipline: motivation is a feeling like  any other feeling we may experience.  This means that it can come and go.  I hear lots of people struggle because they say they don’t have the motivation to  stick to their goals.  The best way to challenge that is to accept that motivation is a feeling, discipline is doing it even if we don’t feel like doing it.  We can practice meditation on this as well as small acts of self control to not give into the impulse of doing what is easier in moment.                             

Frame of mind: Being aware of what kind of thoughts you tend to have most often and what outcomes you usually anticipate can help determine how likely you are to stay focused on a goal.  For example if you have a mindset towards failure or not being enough, you are more likely to lose focus on a goal or give up to “prove yourself right.”  If you have a bias toward negativity, you are more likely to anticipate failure or something going wrong before it happens.  This adds to self-fulfilling prophecies where we have already accepted some level of failure or not accomplishing the goal before we start.  Challenging your frame of mind by shifting your mindset to serve you better, be more positive overall, or feeding more into a belief that you can succeed and adjust your routines and tasks more towards your success.  

Another part of frame of mind to consider is when you feel stuck or not making progress with goals.  One tip I have heard that I have found helpful when you feel you are stuck or not making progress is to write things down.  I have found it beneficial to write a list with two different columns; the first column is things that I am doing when I am stuck, the second column is things that I am doing when I am in flow.  Being more in a flow is when things feel more easy, when they feel they are going more smoothly, or when we feel things are just working out for us.  Start by thinking about all the times you have felt stuck and write down tasks or behaviors you have done while stuck as well as things that you put off or dread doing when you feel stuck.  Now do the same for the flow column, writing down the tasks and behaviors you do when you are more in a flow.  Pain and frustration we experience often comes from things that keep us out of being in our flow.  

When looking at making progress and staying focused on a goal toward growth sometimes we have to stop thinking about it so much and move into action.  Overthinking is when we are more likely to get stuck in unhelpful thinking patterns, self sabotage, and continue to attach to our old belief systems.  

The Action “Approach”: Sometimes we have to stop contemplating so much and just act, even when it scares us.  In fact, if it scares you there is a good chance it’s an action worth taking.  Sometimes action can be some trial and error, I understand this can be frustrating, but instead of going back into contemplation “rethinking” your approach I recommend trying different actions.  Sometimes an action that works for one person isn’t going to work for another person.  So, consider exploring and brainstorming different action ideas and trying different actions if you feel you aren’t seeing progress.  Continuing to focus on actions help us feel more like we are working toward progress.  Sometimes it can be helpful to get someone else involved to help with accountability.  Trying something new or different can be helpful. Therapy can be an action step if you are looking for a different approach.  Action is the only step that can help us figure out what is working.  Action is where we learn to get into a flow.  Action is also where we learn to grow and learn the options that best help us achieve what we are looking to achieve.  

Thanks for reading, until next time.    

Emilie Barragan, LCSW   

Therapeuo Health – “Tackling Physical and Emotional Pain.”