Blog Posts

Hey friends, welcome back to the blog.  Today I am going to talk about resilience using some personal experience with watching my daughter be resilient and increasing my own resilience during the medical issue she is fighting.  

Resilience is about our ability to adapt to life challenges, stressors and our ability to bounce back after we experience challenges, traumas, stressors, and changes.  Resilience doesn’t mean we don’t go through hard things or that people who are more resilient experience less.  There is some belief that people’s ability to be resilient is innate.  Building resilience can also be learned.  

Here are some things I have learned from my 4 year old that I think are important to note when it comes to building resilience.

1. The importance of play: Play is important for emotional well-being.  People learn about the world around them through play.  We as adults often feel less care free and less playful than children.  Being able to be more carefree and playful like children can be an important aspect in coping.  Play can look like doing something you love, role-playing through tough scenarios, getting outside, being silly, laughter, playing games, doing something creative, or moving your body. 

2. The importance of social connections: Having good social connections is linked to improved emotional well-being.  Being able to have connections helps to reduce stress by sharing the stress and can also increase our ability to bounce back from challenges.  In our situation having social connections has helped us to share the load, find relief, and has provided additional support.  My four year old can make friends with anyone and is constantly talking to people at the hospital with greetings, making friends, sharing stickers, and asking questions.  

3. The importance of reframing thinking:  A contributor to resilience is how we view our challenges.  The more we are able to reframe, find gratitudes, and speak more positively helps our brains to be less likely to stay stuck on negative or spiraling thoughts.  Sometimes this is harder than other times but I have watched the difference it makes when my child says “the hospital was kind of fun” or “it wasn’t too bad.”  This has helped me to find strength and challenge my thinking to help us both be able to bounce back from challenging moments more quickly.  

4. The importance of mindfulness:  This can include focusing on the present moment, looking at things more optimistically, and having hope for the future. There will always be stressors in life, this is something we can’t control.  What we can control is how we respond to stressors and how much impact we allow them to have.  Sometimes mindfulness means taking things one day at a time and not letting future stressors or decisions ruin the present moment.  If there are decisions to be made, rather than waiting for something to get better, sometimes it can help to start taking action toward improving the future.  

I have learned a lot about mindfulness from my child throughout this process.  Even she has a tendency at times to worry about future events like the next time she has to go to the hospital.  She is able to focus back on the present moment and go about her day with joy. 

Thanks for reading, until next time. 

Emilie Barragan, LCSW 

Therapeuo Health – “Tackling physical and emotional pain”