Blog Posts

Hey friends, welcome back to the blog.  Today I want to talk about a topic I used to teach when I worked in an inpatient rehab facility.  That topic is roles people may play in families and how family members can be impacted if there is dysfunction.  The roles can shift over the family’s lifespan. Family members can also take on more than one role, depending on what the family environment demands of them.   Let’s explore the most common family roles that may be played. 

The caretaker: This role usually involves taking on more of a parent role as a child, this can also be the role of enabler by trying to cover up family patterns and dysfunction and taking responsibility for keeping the rest of the family happy.  

The scapegoat: This role usually involves being the “problem child” or the person in the family that others like to put blame on.  The scapegoat provokes negative attention that usually distracts from potential dysfunction.  

The mascot/clown: This role usually involves being the center of attention in the family, often entertaining the family, and making family members feel better.  They are often trying to deflect the stress of any given situation.  

The lost child: This role usually refers to the family member who is more quiet, reserved, and often flies under the radar while other family members plays their roles.  The lost child usually stays out of the way and becomes more invisible compared to other roles.  

The hero:  This role will do whatever to restore the dysfunctional home life behind closed doors. This individual is typically portrayed as over-responsible, self-sufficient or even a perfectionist.  Also referred to as being the “golden child/parent,” the hero may struggle with living up to the status.   The good news is just because there can be dysfunction at times, it does not mean hope is lost.  We can learn from our own childhoods, parenting, and experiences. 

Changing Your Role

If you have identified relating to any of these roles throughout your life, let’s consider some ways to make change.                

–  Take accountability for your role. 

–  Set boundaries and respect others boundaries.

–  Be consistent.

–  Remember that change takes time and commitment.

–  Focus on you and take responsibility for your life and feelings. 

–  Learn and practice communication skills, independence, and empathetic listening.

–  Education- self help books. 

–  Individual/Family Therapy.

–  Support Groups.                     

In conclusion, despite experiencing any level of dysfunction (family disruption, trauma, or stress in childhood or as an adult), change can happen to develop different family roles and dynamics.   Change may also include removing yourself from previous roles you have played despite family dynamics changing or not.  It can get challenging when you want to change and others DO NOT want you to change!  If this is an issue, please feel free to reach out to us for assistance.

Thanks for reading, until next time.     

Emilie Barragan, LCSW            

“Tackling physical and emotional pain” – Therapeuo Health